beben-eleben:

1.  Attention

Neglect based on lack of attention damages relationships far more often than malicious abuse.  There’s nothing more vital to the bond you share with others than simply being there for them.

When we pay attention to each other we breathe new life into each other.  With frequent attention and affection our relationships flourish, and we as individuals grow stronger.  This is the side effect of a good relationship – we help heal each other’s wounds and support each other’s strengths.

Bottom line:  Stay in close touch with those who matter to you – communicate openly on a regular basis.  Not because it’s convenient, but because these people are worth the extra effort.

2.  Trust

The entire fabric of our society – people working, living and breathing together – relies on the positive beliefs we have about each other – a subtle, inherent trust.  This trust is the glue that holds every peaceful civilization together.  Which is why trust is the greatest compliment you can give a person, even greater than love.

The only way to build this trust, or find out if someone is trustworthy, is to trust them.  When you do, without a doubt, you’ll automatically get one of two results:  A friend for life or a lesson for life.  Either way the outcome is positive – you determine which relationships are worth your long-term attention.  

3.  Honesty

When your intentions are good and your cause is just, honesty will always help you.  When your heart is open to love and truth, your lips will not utter lies that haunt you.  When people are honest with each other up front, the truth may hurt sooner, but the suffering always dies faster, and out of this suffering comes growth.

Be honest about what’s right, as well as what needs to be changed.  Be honest about what you want a relationship and how you want to be treated.  Be honest with every aspect of your relationships, always.

The bottom line is that relationships don’t hurt.  Lying, cheating and twisting reality until it screws with someone’s emotions is what hurts.  Never mess with someone’s feelings just because you’re unsure of your own.  If you are unsure in any way, be sure to say so.  Always be open and honest.

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According to @FactsDictionary, when a drunk person is talking, about 75% of what he/she says is true. Well, I must agree with this. I’ve experienced to be drunk several times, and during those times, I can say that all my emotions were genuine.

Just last night, I had a spontaneous drinking sesh with my boyfriend together with his friends at my pad. As the time continues to fly, the conversation gets even more serious. Boys seem to be flippant, but during meditative talks, you can really count on them. They give the best advice, they can talk straightly from their heart and when they speak, every word that comes from their mouth is purely intelligible.

Few months ago, I had an argument with my boyfriend. The reason was he used to say “I love you” on his text messages, but he can’t say it to me personally. I got really mad. I told him that he doesn’t need to say I love you if he doesn’t really mean it. Those three words are very powerful. They can change everything. I needed to be brutally frank for him to realize that he can’t just keep playing with my feelings. I mean, you don’t compromise your feelings just to make someone happy. Be true to yourself. Be real. 

That incident brought some life realizations in him. He promised me that he will never say I love you anymore unless he surely feels it. He said sorry. I accepted his apology and never did I change the way of treating him. I continued to be the best partner for him. I never failed to attend to his needs. I still did everything even though I know that he still doesn’t love me. I didn’t lose hope, instead I strove even harder just to win his heart.

Then last night changed everything. I was really surprised. While my boyfriend’s friends were still drinking outside my house, I went inside to lay down even just for a minute because I felt a little bit tipsy already. He followed. He sat beside me on the couch. I hugged him. I kissed him and whispered I love you. Surprisingly, he answered back. He said I love you too. As an initial reaction, I should’ve said thank you and be happy, but I got mad instead. I unwrapped my arms on him. I don’t want to have false hopes anymore. And I thought, he was just really drunk that’s why he was able to say it. But he repeated it not only thrice, he said it couple of times. I was convinced, then. I hugged him again, tighter this time. He was smiling. He told me that everything was really unexpected. Even him can’t believe that these things are happening to him, to us. I asked him if he’s happy, then he said, very happy. He thanked me for everything. He even told me that he wouldn’t become the person he is at this moment without me. I was really touched. It was like I’m on the cloud nine and I was walking on air. Tickled pink, instead.  

Finally! ♥ 

Entering a same sex relationship is very complicated. Beforehand, one must be mentally prepared and ready for all the consequences this kind of relationship might bring. Everything is unpredictable. No one knows what might happen in the coming days. Maybe, the best way to survive is to just go with the flow and enjoy every moment of your journey as partners.

Honestly, I have overcome all kinds of pain that this kind of relationship has brought for the past six months. I cried silently, then smiled again like nothing happened. Definitely, it is a suffering. Unlike a normal relationship that requires both to jointly solve the problem, this one is different. For example, there are several instances that the gay has to give way and understand the guy not because the latter can’t fix the problem, but it’s already a given dilemma that is meant to be understood and needs to be accepted wholeheartedly.

Before my boyfriend agreed to be in a relationship with me, he set rules and conditions. Honestly, some were really inadmissible, but I can’t do anything about it. I love him and I want to be with him, so whether I like it or not, I just have to accept them. I strove very hard to be receptive. I tried my very best to broaden my understanding. I have surpassed all the burdens, heartaches and sleepless nights. Everything. But apparently, these sacrifices don’t just simply end. Dismally, these will continue while I am still in the relationship and the only way to end them is to also end the relationship. Yes, it takes one to be courageous enough to go up against the sufferings. If you don’t have the guts, you won’t be extant.

One of the conditions my boyfriend gave me was, I should allow him to enter in a relationship with a girl. Well, when you look at it, it shouldn’t be a condition anymore. It is something that every gay must accept because in the first place, we must know that boys are really meant for girls. The only thing the guy must do, is to balance his time. He must prioritize his girl, but he should also needs to surrender a spare of time for the gay. Some gay people don’t understand this concept. They want to get all the time and attention, and I think, they have to change their beliefs. Yes, it’s really painful to see your boyfriend and his girlfriend cuddling together. But it’s the reality. At the end of the day, this same sex relationship is just temporary. It won’t last forever.

Another condition was, we can’t be alone together in public places. There must always be a chaperon. Personally, I agreed to this one, but not all the time. Of course, there will always come to a point that I want to spend quality time with my boyfriend. I want to watch movies, dine and have a coffee with him, but as much as I want to do those things with him alone, I can’t because I should think of him. We might bump into someone related to him and it’s gonna be a blot for him.

Those are only few of the consequences one has to face when entering this complicated kind of relationship. Well, I don’t say that those happen always, but most of the time, they do. People like me must endure the pain to be able to attain happiness. Ironically, it’s painful and fun at the same time.

That is how I smile and project whenever he looks at me this way

HAHAHA! ♥

Few weeks ago, I had an argument with a friend. He’s 16 years old, 4th year highschool student and a volleyball varsity player. Yes, he’s still young and obviously, he lacks knowledge about what modern society has brought to people and how it has changed them. And as a “kuya” to him, I let him understand some concepts that people like him tend to misinterpret.

The argument was about same sex relationship. This boy is really straightforward in delivering his thoughts. He doesn’t care about what others might feel. All he wants is to be equitable of what he truly feels and what he believes is right. 

He said that my boyfriend just patiently stays with me because of the material things and money that I constantly give to him. Yes, he said that very straight to my face. Very parsimonious, right? :) And as a response, I just smiled and breathed deeply instead of getting extremely exacerbated. After 5 seconds, I looked at him and started to calmly articulate my notions. 

I told him that yes, it’s really a must for every gay to support their boyfriend financially because it’s how it should be. It’s already written in their fate. It’s a fact that nobody can deny. But not everything is about those material things and money. It doesn’t just end there. It’s fundamentally about how a gay treats his boyfriend and how he can handle the relationship decently. 

I am speaking in behalf of all the gay people out there. I want the people to know that we don’t always buy love. Yes, money is in the formula to be able to achieve a long and satiating relationship with our boyfriends, but it doesn’t comprise everything. At the end of the day, our treatment, concern and genuine love to our boyfriends will be the determining factors whether they will stay or not.